#209: Silent World (24 November 1986)

Paris, France. A clandestine meeting is taking place between some of the most dangerous men in the world. This is speculative just how dangerous the men are, but the fact the meeting is taking place in a dark room, probably underground and the discussion revolves around stealing a missile indicates that they are indeed dangerous. The man they are meeting with is David Crane. They wish to hire him to steal a missile. He’s the best around and they need him, as they do not want certain activities traced to their organisation. One of the men believes he is is too caviler and strange, very strange.  He doesn’t play by anyone’s rules. He’s a maverick, but one on their side. If you're going to hire a joker, make sure he's in your deck. In all of his years as an international thief, he’s never been caught, convicted or even suspected. The men want Crane to steal the Moorelock missile. It's currently in pieces scattered all over the county. He just needs to retrieve these pieces and put it together. 

Crane blows up a chair for no reason, just to be a badass. Just to show these guys he’s unfuckwithable. He does a lot of speaking in French, showing he has completed high school.

We find MacGyver at the Phoenix Foundation Test Site, a fake town where missiles are exploded. The General isn’t the biggest fan of MacGyver. Just to break with traditional of how military types are portrayed in television and movies, he doesn’t like civilians at all. 

This missile can be guided by voice and MacGyver has to test it out. Can he get the missile through the town without destroying anything? It would appear so. Even the General is impressed. He may end up liking MacGyver after all.

The next scene sees MacGyver doing some volunteer work down at a local deaf school. His sign language is shitty as fuck and the kids laugh at him. He then signs something along the lines of “go fuck yourselves, you deaf fucks” and then signs something for the teacher, something along the lines of "I want to dick you". After that he probably cranked some tunes on a ghetto blaster and danced around, just to rub it in that the kids can’t hear. What a cunt. But justifiable, the kids did give him shit.

Things start getting weird really quickly. The teacher has a premonition of MacGyver getting hit by a car. It looks like the episode is heading in some sort of Charmed direction. At this stage I’m predicting the episode is going to be a shit one as MacGyver works best when there isn’t any weak supernatural bullshit.

Pete and MacGyver test out some new devise that allows deaf kids to hear. Pete comments “I cant imagine what it would be like, hearing for the first time”. Unfortunately none of the kids could hear what he was saying so the sentiment was lost on everyone, except MacGyver who wouldn’t give a shit anyway. He's too busy trying to bang the teacher. This volunteering thing is probably part of some compulsory community service MacGyver had to do to avoid a prison sentence for either drug trafficking or statutory rape. Or both.

The teacher has another premonition taking the episode from potentially shit into most certainly absolute dog shit. This time it gets into fucking stupid territory and features a horse and a hovercraft. What the fuck?

Meanwhile Crane is working on getting the pieces of the missile together. He dresses as a cop, stops a military vehicle in the middle of nowhere and his team steals some shit from the back. Getting the pieces of the weapon is going to be easy as piss with such weak security measures in place.

We cut back to MacGyver’s place, where he and the teacher are having a rather frank discussion.

MacGyver: What’s bothering you?

Carrie: I had a dream about you.

MacGyver: Oh yeah?

Carrie: Not like that, you were killed and I was watching. You were almost hit by a lightning bolt, then we were being chased by a Moorish warrior past a steel skeleton, you were hit by this old car that came at us out of a lake, then you were killed.

MacGyver decided this wasn’t the time to go into details about the dream he had about Carrie, as this would have certainly creeped her out. How do you broach the subject of a dream involving a wine bottle inserted into an asshole? MacGyver clearly wants to bang her. This would have been the perfect time to do it. Instead MacGyver is interested in hearing about the dream. He’s hoping this dream was filthy as shit and wants to get her involved in some sleep research the Phoenix Foundation is conducting.

Crane has made quick time and already arrived at the next destination, a museum with a replica of the missile that contains the real propulsions system in a move that on the militaries part was erroneous to say the least. Crane gets the propulsion system and gets the fuck out of there commenting to his crew “6 months of planning and in 25 hours we’ll be done”.

Pete and MacGyver finish up lunch at a restaurant.

MacGyver: How do you like Indian food Pete?

Pete: To be honest I don’t know, my taste buds burned out after the second bite!

He’ll be shitting all over the place within the hour. I hope the restaurant is located in close vicinity to the Phoenix Foundation.

MacGyver pushes Pete out of the way, saving them both from being hit and possibly killed by a van with a lightning bolt on the side. The lightning is from the first part of Carries dream. This convinces Pete to let Carrie get in on the dream research, as her dream was really intense and clearly holds the answer to something. Bullshit I believe it’s called.

They race back to the Phoenix Foundation to do the tests. Getting to the bottom of what this dream means is of upmost importance. It could hold the secret to the cure for AIDs or who will win the Super bowl. It could also just prove that Carrie is as cracked out as MacGyver.

The dream sequence is replayed, this time in extended remix form. The researcher comments, “the signals are not of a normal dream, the waves are too intense”. A intense dream! Holy shit!

Crane and crew arrive to collect the last piece of the missile from the Phoenix Foundation test site. MacGyver, Carrie and Pete are there still talking about that fucking dream. Just as the crew collect the last piece, Carrie points out Crane as the man from her dream. What in the name of fuck? How did that happen? Crane does a runner and one of the crew opens fire on MacGyver and co.

Crane escapes but not before MacGyver takes out one of the dudes. They’ll be able to get answers from this guy so all should be fine. No it won’t be! Crane kills his own man so he can’t reveal the plan. What a fucking badass. It kind of doesn’t matter as MacGyver figures out the plot of stealing the missile piece by piece.

In a miracle of modern science, Carrie reveals just who is responsible for stealing the missile through her dream. MacGyver proceeds to draw the lake from her dream on a Commodore 64 for no fucking reason. MacGyver then uses software that certainly didn’t exist at the time and probably still doesn’t to match the lake from her dream with a real one.

They take a trip out to this lake and it turns out to be the exact lake from her dream. What a load of fucking horseshit. MacGyver considers all this to be completely normal no doubt because of the large quantity of LSD in his system. The Phoenix Foundation do research on a lot of things, not just dreams. MacGyver figures that they’ll be able to use her dream to solve the case. There is no way he isn’t on drugs at this point. The metal skeleton from the dream shows up in the form of old buried car parts, and then a dude on a white horse shows up. What the shit? Then a fucking dude pops out of the bushes and starts shooting at them just like in the dream. Fuck me. The only thing left is the fucking hovercraft.

I only had to wait 30 seconds for Crane to show up in, you guessed it, a hovercraft. MacGyver gets hit by crane and left for dead. Carrie is taken, ending one of the most bullshit scenes in the series to date.

MacGyver is as predicted not dead and is on a mission to save the girl. Saving her life should get him some pussy, his main concern at this stage.

Back at Phoenix Foundation headquarters, Pete discovers that Crane has every piece of the missile. Shit is getting real.

The dude on the horse gets through to Pete and lets him know where MacGyver is. They’re sending out a rescue team but will there be enough time? Now that Crane has the entire missile he’ll be offloading it to the buyers and disappearing.  

In what seemed like 3 minutes, MacGyver tracks down the hovercraft and Crane’s headquarters. One of the crew heads outside to see if anyone is around. MacGyver punches him in the face from under the water in a fucking radical move that I don’t think is actually possible but badass nonetheless.

Crane asked how they found him. Carrie explains the dream and Crane understandably thinks she’s nuts.

MacGyver makes a water clock out of a plastic bag filled with water and a hole in it. Once the water drains out of the bag it will turn the ignition, starting the hovercraft and creating one of MacGyver’s tried and true distractions. It totally works. The hovercraft starts up, one of the dudes walks outside to see what’s up and MacGyver pulls a rope flipping him into the water.

MacGyver runs inside and takes Crane out with a pot before commenting, “don’t worry about him, he’s just dreaming”. Fucking awesome. Mostly because it ties in with the theme of the episode. Dreams. You know how the episode has had lots of dreams in it? And MacGyver said "he's just dreaming". Get it? Dreams.

Pete comes and collects them in a helicopter.

The next scene utilises soft focus, sexy saxophone and candles. MacGyver is going to bang Carrie like there is no tomorrow. Just when things are about to get somewhat inappropriate the scene ends. It turns out it was just Carrie daydreaming about MacGyver banging her. I’m sure the Phoenix Foundation have the technology to turn this dream into a VHS which MacGyver will watch and then sell. Or use to blackmail Carrie into actually banging him. It’s hard to say which.

Just to tie up loose ends, Pete reveals Crane and Crew have all been captured.

We cut back to the deaf school where Pete announces the Phoenix Foundation are going to provide $50,000 for deaf research. The girl who had never spoken before speaks, ending the episode on an emotional note. There were tears but not from MacGyver as he was too fucked up on drugs.

MacGyver taught us that the military keep components to highly dangerous and top secret weapons is museums with low levels of security, that it’s possible to teach deaf people to hear, that once you save a chicks life she has to bone you and that it’s possible to solve complex crimes through experimental dream analysis.

#208: Eagles (17 November 1986)

The episode starts off in questionable fashion, with the first ten minutes consisting of nothing more than close ups of MacGyver allegedly on a hang glider interspersed with stock footage of Eagles and hang gliders, with a voice over of MacGyver discussing his mission to save a pair of endangered Golden Eagles. Boring as fuck. Saving birds? Who gives a shit. Pete also knew the exact located of where MacGyver could find these birds and I have no fucking idea how. Sounds like bullshit to me.

Eventually a helicopter shows up. A hunter onboard starts shooting at the endangered birds taking both of them down with a bow and arrow. One of the pilots warned against shooting the birds, claiming it is illegal. The shooter clearly doesn't give a fuck. Both of the eagles were injured but are alive.

MacGyver attempted to stop the hunter from killing the birds by reflecting sun into their eyes with a mirror or as MacGyver put it “showing them the light”. This strategy ultimately failed and now it appears MacGyver’s mission will be to rescue the birds before the hunters get to them and finish them off.

A boy finds the wounded bird. MacGyver lands in his vicinity, captures the bird in his coat and they head back to the boys grandfather’s cabin to repair the broken wing.

Back at the cabin, the mother, Susan, is having problems starting her car. MacGyver will most certainly fix it for the right price and that exchange won't involve cash.

Apparently MacGyver is a fucking vet now too and is able to remove the arrow and set the birds broken wing.

Susan isn’t really hot at all, but that won’t stop MacGyver from trying to bang her. The time isn't right now with that fucking kid around, but as soon as he's gone or dies, MacGyver will be dicking Susan.

It turns out Susan is up at the cabin trying to fix some things. MacGyver thinks she means home repairs, to which she replies she wouldn’t know a hammer from a chainsaw. Who the fuck can’t tell a hammer from a chainsaw? Anyway she actually meant she was there to try and fix her son Darren and herself. Metaphor alert. They’ve had a tough time recently so the cabin gives them some respite. MacGyver gives Susan his concerned look, which 8/10 times gets him at least a blowjob.

The helicopter lands and we discover the pilots have some concerns. For starters there is a $5000 fine for killing Golden Eagles. Secondly, they are worried MacGyver will alert the Park Ranger to their activities leading to the suspension of their license and loss of their business. Thirdly, one of the pilots has actually broken out of prison and moved to the middle of nowhere to ensure he never gets caught. If federal agents start investigating this attempted eagle murder he’ll be found and will end up back on death row. He just “ain’t gonna let that happen”.

The hunter who shot the bird isn’t concerned. Speaking of MacGyver he believe “maybe he has a soft spot. Women, booze, owe the bookies, something he doesn’t want out of the bag. Find him and buy him”. Little does he know with MacGyver it’s all of the above and much, much more. The only problem is MacGyver is cashed up to the max, so if he wants to buy him off, he’s going to need a substantial quantity of high quality methamphetamines.

After repairing the wing, MacGyver goes for a walking, running into Darren on the way. Him and his mother have been fighting a lot recently. He just wants to get out and explore, live a little, but his mother is too worried he’s going to get hurt and won’t let him do anything. MacGyver is definitely thinking, “fuck her, do what you want”. It also turns out Darren is some sort of bird expert, especially eagles, which he’s been studying for years.

Back at the house Darren asks his mother if MacGyver can stay over. She is says he can, opening the door just that little further for MacGyver. It’s also conveniently Darren’s bedtime, giving them the place all to themselves.

MacGyver comments “the only arguments I ever had with my mother were about bed time. I finally let her stay up until ten.” This hilarious joke eases the tension but not for long. Susan hands a knife to MacGyver, one he’d previously given Darren without her permission and she’s pissed. There will be no dicking tonight for MacGyver. Instead he uses the time to read up about Golden Eagles in one of the Darren’s shitty kids books about birds.

The next morning MacGyver feeds the injured bird some sugar cubes and asks “are you gonna let me touch you”? I’m sure MacGyver asked Susan the same thing last night. I’m not exactly sure what happened between them but judging by the awkwardness when she entered the shed, they probably boned.

MacGyver collects some climbing equipment from the shed and embarks on the mission to find the other bird. Susan warns him, “the North Face? It’s pure granite”. MacGyver doesn’t give a fuck what she says and heads off. He just wants to bring the two birds together.

The pilots track down MacGyver’s jeep. The plan is to kill MacGyver, as “when you’ve killed one man, killing another doesn’t really matter, especially when it means staying out of jail”. Looks like MacGyver may be in a little trouble.

Enter a shitload more stock footage of some guy climbing a mountain. MacGyver slips and almost dies. Luckily he’s connected the ropes well enough to the mountain face. It’s a rough as fuck mountain to climb. I have no fucking idea why MacGyver is risking his own life to save a shitty bird that may not even be on the top of the mountain once he gets there.

The pilots find the hang glider at Susan’s house. They speak with Susan and make up some bullshit about finding MacGyver’s car destroyed by a fallen tree. They decide to wait for MacGyver to get off the mountain. The boy spots the bow and arrow, instantly recognising the two men as pilots of the helicopter.

Once on top of the mountain, MacGyver finds the fucking bird in about 10 seconds, which is absolute bullshit. Why it hadn’t flown away was anyone’s guess. MacGyver gets caught in a storm and has to spend the night in a cave on the mountain. He made a point of stating in the voiceover that he would do absolutely anything to keep the bird alive. He stressed this way too hard. The bird needed something to keep it alive but MacGyver had no food on him. There is no doubt that he jizzed into the birds’ mouth to keep it alive. This may be some sort of low level bestiality but MacGyver doesn’t give a fuck. He’d bang a dog if needed.

Meanwhile back at the house, the death row pilot has cut Susan’s radio, making it impossible for her to contact anyone. At this point she realises they are bad motherfuckers.

The next morning, MacGyver’s decent of the mountain is captured in a musical montage set to some weak as shit ripoff Indiana Jones music.

He finds a dropped arrow just outside the house, tipping him off that the pilots are inside and aren’t to be trusted. Lucky he found the arrow, as without it, it would have taken him another 5 seconds to spot them through the window. He lays the bird down in the bushes and prepares to take them out. Shit is about to get real.

Death row pilot reveals to the other rather normal guy that he’s going to kill the boy and mother, as they know the truth. The normal guy doesn’t want to do it; he’s just a businessman, to which death row pilot replies “if it wasn’t for the proceeds from that bank job that put me on death row, you wouldn’t have a business”.

Out in the shed, MacGyver is going to create a diversion with a propane tank and a grindstone. I think this diversion is called “blowing up a shed”. He runs back to the birds and creates a slingshot out of an old bicycle. The plan is to shoot ball bearing at the grind stone, creating a spark and blowing up the propane tank.

Back inside death row pilot tries to smooth talk Susan, “I’m just being friendly, this is the last chance you’ll have”. He’s pretty much saying “I’m going to murder you soon, so if you want one last bang, this is your only chance”. He touches her face and just as things are looking like they might get a little sketchy, Darren hits him in the balls with a log of wood and runs. Normal pilot grabs Darren and heads back inside, while death row pilot starts investigating outside.

MacGyver uses the slingshot bicycle to try and hit the grindstone, but it is proving a little harder than he expected. The death row pilot thinks MacGyver is inside the shed, so he fires off a few shots with his bow and arrow, hitting the grindstone, blowing up the shed and knocking himself unconscious in the process. Boom. Plan worked.

MacGyver plays dead, one of his finest moves, luring the normal pilot over and then proceeds to awaken from his fake slumber and beat the living piss out of him.

Moments later the cops show up and take both pilots away. A perfect ending, except the bird MacGyver rescued from the mountain died anyway. Probably in the shed explosion. Fucking nice one brother.

Not content with climbing what appeared to be North America’s most dangerous mountain, MacGyver decides to follow the living bird to its nest to collect the eggs.

This sequence is of course made up of 5 minutes of stock hang glider footage. The nest is located in the hardest possible spot imaginable, perched on a pillar about 1 square metre large. MacGyver pulls off a near impossible landing, grabs the eggs and heads back to Susan’s house.

MacGyver makes an incubator out of cushion stuffing and vegetable oil. It’s now just a waiting game.

The episode ends with the eggs hatching and the species saved followed by more hang gliding stock footage.

MacGyver taught us that being a vet is mostly bullshit, that you can’t evade the law forever simply by moving to the middle of nowhere, that birds are for the most part boring and that climbing life threating mountains will get you chicks.

#110: Target MacGyver (22 December 1985)

A female General has been kidnapped, proving yet again that women shouldn't hold positions of power in the military, and it's MacGyver's job to rescue her.

Rather than going for the tried and tested abandoned warehouse, the kidnappers decided that a beach house situated mere feet from the sand was the perfect hideout. MacGyver does some of his finest work on and around the beach so I don't suspect this rescue mission should prove too taxing.

Penetrating this fortress of security was MacGyver's first task, made all the easier by the fact that the backdoor was left unlocked. Once inside MacGyver had to come up with a rescue plan using only the utensils found in the kitchen. The plan was simple yet effective, pile a heap of pots and pans on a bag of ice placed next to a toaster oven and oil the floor. The toaster oven melts the ice, causing the pots and pans to fall on the floor which will coax the kidnappers out of the living room and into the kitchen where they will slip on the floor and be unable to get up for a period of time long enough for MacGyver to get the general out of there. MacGyver also took a bag of carrots but that probably had more to do with his vitamin C deficiency than rescuing the General.

The set up goes according to plan and MacGyver is able to get the General out of there. After slipping on the floor for a comically long period of time the kidnappers finally get out of the kitchen but their attempt to apprehend MacGyver is foiled as he is able to trap them under a sun bed.

MacGyver makes a call to his ridiculously named contact "Pacman" informing him that the "lady General" is safe and then hits the beach to have a chat to the chicks playing beach volleyball he was checking out earlier.

ROLL CREDITS

Not 5 minutes after returning from rescuing that fucking lady General, MacGyver is sent to the Middle East to destroy a nuclear refining plant that the CIA believe is being used to manufacture nuclear weapons.

Security is usually pretty tight at this particular refinery but MacGyver is able to get in and set the detonator by simply wearing ninja attire.

After blowing up the refinery MacGyver heads home only to find some asshole sitting on his fucking couch. MacGyver has just rescued a lady General and blown up a nuclear refinery so the last thing he wants to do is get home and have to deal with some guy from head office. All he wants to do is chill the fuck out and have some time to himself. Is that too much to ask?

It turns out that the guy isn't there to give MacGyver an assignment but rather to warn him that he is now a target after the nuclear refinery incident. A guy by the name of Axeminster has been hired to take MacGyver out. Apparently he is the best there is which is lucky as you don't want to be a pussy with a name like Axeminster, which is the most fucking badass name in existence.

MacGyver decides to get out of town for a while just until things cool down, so heads to Denver to visit his Grandfather who he hasn't seen since he was 10 years old. It is an icy reunion with MacGyver's Grandfather telling him he shouldn't have come. Fucking old people. MacGyver took the time out to come and visit his Grandfather and that is all he gets. It's not like he has anything so important to do that MacGyver's presence is a hinderance. He should be grateful for the company the stupid old cunt. 

Axeminster is able to intercept a message MacGyver had sent to his Grandfather previously and makes his way to Colorado where he assembles the best team of killers Denver has to offer.

Henchman: How do you want MacGyver, dead or alive?

Axeminster: ... DEAD.

What a fucking badass.

Back at MacGyver's Grandfathers house, the old guy reveals that after his son, MacGyver's father, died he just broke down and had to get away from everything which is why he'd moved to Denver and hadn't contacted MacGyver since. MacGyver still has a few issues with his Grandfather that he needs to deal with, but this confrontation is a good start. The healing has began.

Axeminster finds MacGyver's Grandfathers cabin easily enough but the two are not inside, they've made their way to a river for a spot of fishing. Just as MacGyver hooks a big one, bullets start raining down on them so they are forced to jump overboard and sacrifice the fish, which Gramps is more than a little pissed off about.

The two narrowly avoid being shot and make their way to shore unscathed. It's eight armed men, one of them the ruthless and brutal Axeminster, against two unarmed men, so MacGyver is going to have to use every trick he knows to get out of this situation.  

Denver just happens to be home to a plant from the Urtiga family that is highly toxic to humans and will knock you out for hours if you get some in your bloodstream. MacGyver stumbles across this plant on the banks of the river and constructs a blow gun and poison darts out of the plant and some reeds.  

MacGyver informs his Grandfather that for it to work you need to get them in the neck, which he does when he comes across two of the guys who want him dead. MacGyver's Grandfather is a little more old school and takes the second of the guys out with a piece of wood.

Two down, six to go.

It's around this time that MacGyver's Grandfather deems it appropriate to ask what the fuck is going on in which MacGyver replies with "it has to do with freedom and peace and some people who don't like either". Yeah whatever dude. It has to do with some guy who wants you dead because you blew up his factory. Gramps replies that he hasn't done this much running since being chased by a Grisly showing he is just as badass as Axeminster, just a little older.

We find out at this time that MacGyver's Grandfather's name is Harry and that he taught MacGyver everything he knows about creating decoys, a technique employed by MacGyver on a daily fucking basis ever since. Without his knack for creating diversions MacGyver would be fucked, actually he'd be dead by now, so he has a lot to thank his grandfather for.

This conversation proved to be the perfect segway into MacGyver and Harry constructing a diversion, the first of what I anticipate will be many.

Harry fills a jacket with twigs to make it look like a person and MacGyver drops it out of a tree into a passing jeep causing the jeep the crash into a ditch. While not technically a diversion and more of a dropping-something-from-a-tree-into-an-oncoming-vehicle it did what it intended killing or at least critically injuring the passengers.

And then there were four, and only one jeep.

In what can only be described as extreme bullshit part 2, MacGyver creates a land mine out of a buried pine-cone covering in tree sap that when detonated has the power to blow up a jeep.

Unfortunately for Harry extreme bullshit doesn't extend to immunity from gunshot wounds, an he takes one in side. While not critical, the gunshot wound certainly slows him down, but with Axeminster's jeep recently destroyed by a flaming pine-cone his posse are also on foot now.

MacGyver and Harry make it to the nearest town where Harry thought they'd be able to get help from the local police or at the very least get in contact with some law enforcement agency, unfortunately Harry hadn't been there for about 25 fucking years and the place was a ghost town.

They find shelter in an old tavern and MacGyver treats Harry's wound with a mixture consisting of fools gold and clay, much the same as used in hospitals. Harry reveals that he was hurt with the loss of his wife and daughter, MacGyver's mother, and wanted to avoid MacGyver because of the bad memories seeing him brought back, but he did miss him all these years. This was a touching scene, perhaps the most touching of the series, so touching in fact that it made me almost forget that MacGyver had treated a potentially serious gunshot wound with mud.

With night near, MacGyver decided to set up some traps around town to help take down Axeminster and his remaining posse at the inevitable showdown. These traps included an explosive made out of grain dust, a diversion created using a hook and thread tied to a curtain and a loose veranda awning. 

No sooner has the sun risen than Axeminster and his team roll into town. Gramps breaks out his curtain diversion instantly, two of the dudes check it out and MacGyver blows them up with the explosive grain dust.

Gramps then gets in on the diversion action by shoveling some pine nuts in a fire creating a gunshot sound luring one of the other henchmen over giving Gramps the opportunity to hit him over the head with a plank of wood. Gramps just loves beating the shit out of dudes with pieces of wood.

So far the traps have worked perfectly leaving only Axeminster alive.

MacGyver jumps off a roof landing on Axeminster and blows are exchanged. This is a fight for the ages, not too dissimilar to that between Rocky and Ivan Drago in Rocky IV, except much, much shitter. Unlike in Rocky IV the decisive blow in this battle involves a loose awning and a falling roof crushing Axeminster. It was a sad demise for one of MacGyver's most badass enemies.

Although the odds were against them, MacGyver and Harry were able to defeat Axeminster and his goons.

It was time for MacGyver to leave Colorado. To say it was an emotional goodbye is an understatement. MacGyver was reunited with his Grandfather after almost 20 years, a man that taught him the art of diversion and how to catch a fish. There were laughs, there were tears and there was lots of killing. MacGyver said he'll be back and this time it won't take 18 years.

MacGyver taught us that if you're outnumbered eight to two you'll always win provided you have flaming pine-cones and explosive grain dust in your possession.