It's common knowledge that nobody ever checks a coffin at any border, even a communist one, as nobody wants to do a cavity search on a corpse so it's better to just let it go. It's part of a silent code, a code that allows for 98% of all drugs to be trafficked across borders. I didn't think MacGyver would use the "I'm dying to get out" line but I was wrong.
After getting across into West Berlin the East German guards received a tip off from someone, probably a wronged lover of MacGyver's, and started opening fire on the coffin. The guys carrying the coffin threw it from the bridge they were on into the river below. Once in the water, MacGyver blew the lid and sides off the coffin revealing a Jet Ski, which allows him to Jet Ski all the way back to America. Yes, that is correct, inside the coffin was a carefully hidden Jet Ski. A Jet Ski. A Jet Ski that allowed MacGyver to get to safety. In a coffin. What in the name of fuck?
Now I'm all for miraculous escapes, but there is no way you're fitting a Jet Ski in a coffin. Also, where the fuck are you getting a Jet Ski from in East Germany? This is a place where it was a difficult task to acquire self raising flour, let alone a Jet Ski. Come to think of it MacGyver would have just made it out of an old turntable and a wardrobe.
Someone has uploaded this classic if somewhat unbelievable MacGyver escape and it is available to watch here.
ROLL CREDITS
The episode begins with the introduction of Quail, the least threatening bad guy since the Camp General in #102. MacGyver is the only blemish on Quail's record according to the panel of men discussing him in the darkened dungeon like room the meeting is taking place in. There really haven't been enough underground lairs in the series so far. It is up to Quail to get the information MacGyver smuggled out of East Germany back, in a story line reminiscent of the one way back in the last episode.
MacGyver arrives in town in a helicopter, the least subtle way to arrive anywhere, and as such several foreign agents start following him almost immediately. A woman by the name of Karen shows up in a Porsche and collects him. She pretends to be his girlfriend so MacGyver decides to play a character too, the deadshit-tow-truck-driver character he played so convincingly in episode #109, which must be MacGyver's go to character in a bind, or perhaps he isn't a very good actor. The chick is a double agent assigned to get MacGyver to safety, so after rape kissing her they get the fuck out of there.
MacGyver is wanted by the East Germans and Pete has decides it is best to take him to a safe house that nobody knows about, so Karen proceeds to get MacGyver to the largest safe house known to man.
MacGyver wastes no time chatting up the chick with the "I thought I knew all the pretty girls in the office" line that has never worked in the history of male-female office relationships.
Pete tells some shitty story about the first time he and MacGyver met. It involved MacGyver saving Pete from quicksand and then making him ride a camel for 6 days. Hopefully this isn't turned into a retrospective episode at some stage. Camel storylines are so played out.
It turns out the safe house isn't so safe after all with Quail watching their every move from a control room hidden somewhere in the mansion.
Quail really looks creepy as fuck. There is no doubt he is on a sex offenders register somewhere.
MacGyver is introduced to Mrs. Chung, the very best code breaker there is, who is charged with the mission of breaking the encryption on the information MacGyver smuggled out of East Germany utilising the power of the Commodore 64.
Quail announces over a loud speaker that he's in the house watching them all and then blows up the computer. Mrs. Chung tries to escape from the room but is poisoned in the process by a needle in the door. It isn't revealed if she is dead or not, but it doesn't really matter as she failed to impress with her one line of dialogue and she seemed pretty boring. I don't think she could make MacGyver any better and I'm sure MacGyver could crack that code himself anyway. MacGyver reveals that Quail double crossed the British for the Russians years ago and then doubled crossed the Russians for the East Germans. This explains Quail's British accent and shitty moustache. MacGyver ran into Quail with a plane load of stolen military computers a few years ago and MacGyver stole them back. This is why Quail is pissed with MacGyver and seeking revenge. Quail lets the three know that the entire house is booby trapped and that there is no way out, through a broadcast on a black and white TV.
The three of them investigate the front door which is unlocked but rigged with motion sensor machine guns. MacGyver throws a suit of armour outside which gets the shit shot out of it.
The three head into the kitchen where MacGyver turns on every electrical device in order to jam the video and audio in that room. This gives them a room free from monitoring where they can formulate a plan.
Pete has a mobile phone located in the library and heads off to get it. Quail has hacked into the line somehow, so when Pete uses it, he is instantly electrocuted. Pete is unconscious but not dead.
In the kitchen MacGyver kisses Karen, after which she stated "thanks, I needed that". I'm not sure what the motivation for this kiss was, but it could have been that Karen was a good kisser before or simply that MacGyver was trying to wear her down with his exceptional kissing skills in an attempt to get her into bed.
Karen leaves MacGyver in the kitchen to explore the house, well at least that is what she tells MacGyver. It turns out she is actually full of shit and on Quail's side. I knew from the moment I saw her that she was a double crossing whore. It must have been the hair. I feel bad for MacGyver as they'd just shared an intimate moment in the kitchen and now it turns out she doesn't even like him.
When told that MacGyver was making something in the kitchen, Quail responded with "he likes to make clever things out of odd bits" indicating that he knew MacGyver well, perhaps too well. Could he be the man to finally take MacGyver down in this episode? 6 more seasons of the show tells me no.
So just what was MacGyver doing in the kitchen? It turns out he'd constructed a fully functioning robot out of a blender and the suit of armour. He let this robot loose outside, attracting the gun fire, giving him a clear path to freedom.
Quail gets on the loud speaker and informs MacGyver that he will kill Pete and Karen if he doesn't return immediately. MacGyver takes a bit of time to think about this, indicating that he really wants to bone Karen and makes his way back to the house.
MacGyver heads back inside, finds Pete alive and takes him into the room with the potentially dead Mrs. Chung. After some smooth detective work MacGyver discovers that Karen is working for Quail but for some reason doesn't punch her in the face. She reveals that she is only doing it because her brother was captured on a mission in Czechoslovakia and that he would be killed if she didn't work for Quail. MacGyver says that if she helps him, they'll capture Quail and use him in an exchange for her brother. She agrees to this proposal.
Quail decides enough is enough and it is time to take MacGyver out. Some motion sensor guns are rigged up inside the house, but MacGyver creates a smoke screen using baking soda allowing them to escape the main lobby through a secret door Karen knows about.
Karen reveals where Quail is hidden but that he has guns. MacGyver needs Quail to come to him and the only way to get him out of his control room is by cutting the electricity.
Karen: What are you going to do?
MacGyver: Invite the man to a party.
Karen and MacGyver then share their third kiss for the episode making it abundantly clear that they'll be banging once this whole Quail situation is over.
MacGyver cuts the power drawing Quail out. He had previously rigged up a water cannon in the power room and a periscope so he can see Quail coming. When Quail finds them, Karen pretends to be back on Quail's side and pushes him into the path of the water cannon knocking him back into a huge fuse box which would have most certainly electrocuted him.
It's important that Quail lives as MacGyver promised Karen that they'd use him in exchange for her brother. If Quail is dead from the electrocution they'd have to exchange him Weekend At Bernie's style which should prove to be an hilarious episode in its own right.
The Weekend at Bernie's plan turns out to be moot as Quail is alive. MacGyver pulls out the "this one is free of charge" line and punches him in the face.
With Pete and Mrs. Chung out cold in the other room and Quail also out for the count, Karen and MacGyver have the place all to themselves kind of. With the three kisses earlier, there is certainly a spark between the two and there is no doubt MacGyver would have boned Karen, or at the very least finger blasted her before investigating on Pete and Mrs. Chung.
So at the end of the day, Quail's death house is booby trapped less dangerously than fucking Home Alone resulting in him being captured, Pete isn't dead and Mrs. Chung is also alive but probably won't be coming back for another episode after a poor showing in this one.
MacGyver taught us that it is possible to fit a Jet Ski into a coffin, that booby trapped houses need to be well fucking booby trapped to catch him out and that just because someone double crosses you it doesn't mean you can't finger blast them.
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